yesterday, august 5th, such a darkest day in my live, a day that will always remind in my live, a day when my grand ma' past away, she's going forever, and i was so shocked...
in da morning, nothing cross in my mind, i start to wake up and get ready to go to my workplace, i got no bad feeling...
but suddenly everything is change when i had a phone from my mother, she talk to me in tears.. my mom said "Gem, just be patient.. your grand ma was past away this morning".. damned.. it feels like stabbed in the heart, i cant believe it.. i really cant believe it..
suddenly everything felt so blue, felt like shit.... i still cant accept this damn reality... i was so shock at that moment, i cry like a little child, i cry n i cry... i cant stop my tears in this damned heart...
after i arrive... i really cant hold my tears.. i scream.. my lovely grand ma' is past away.. i cry beside her body.... all of my family was crying either, and my mom give me a whisper.. "just be patient my lovely child, she's gone... nothing that we can do, all we can do now is pray for her..."
after the burried ceremonial was finished, i am standing in front of my grand ma's grave alone.. all of my family has going home, and that moment... was so unspeakable...
i just can say in tears.."Good bye my lovely grand ma', hopefully.. u are rest in peace in heaven rite now... i am so sorry if i cant make you happy when you are still with me, i'm so sorry if i always make you disappointed by my foolish act... i love you grand ma'........"
i am so speechless......